Anatomy of 21st Century Terrorisms Coverage
WITNESS: They didn’t say anything…they just started firing…it was so terrible…there was so much blood…bodies everywhere… [inaudible over the sound of sobbing]
MEDIA: So, like, would you describe what they said before they started firing as Arabic sounding?
WITNESS: They didn’t say any–
MEDIA: Do you think we should invade Syria?
[THREE-MINUTE ADVERTISEMENT BREAK]
MEDIA: Check out these photos of people all around the world showing solidarity with France and a willingness to do whatever Hollande says should be done, like, say, invading Syria. Everyone in the whole world seems to be saying we should invade Syria, just look at these photos if you don’t believe how much we should be invading Syria rn.
[somebodycryinginfrontofthestatueoflibertywhichisholdingafrenchflaginsteadofatorch.jpg]
MEDIA: Stay tuned as we live tweet our uninformed guesses at how many died in the #carnage #death #invadesyria
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**Click here for 10 smoking hot never before seen pictures of the Kardashians**
**7 weird tricks for spicing up your date nights***
**5 awesome life hacks to help you invade Syria**
This eagle crying blood represents the guilt of the innocent. (Via some cancerous website you don’t want to visit anyway.)
Dingus Mingus lingus ingus indiagus whingus hingus wringus thingus.
Top image via Wikipedia.
More ‘deep’ thoughts from De’Lunula:
Keep Your Kids Straight and Patriotic by Sending Them to Camp
Do Banks Steal from You?
An esoteric but brief epistemological diversion.
Wait it’s September 12th?? Oh shi– We forgot to never forget 9/11!
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