Valentine’s Day is here again! Here are some nifty retro cards we got from thrift stores (click pics for shareable Facebook links.)
![Now this card would just say "On point."](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6172-820x1024.jpg)
Now this card would just say “On point.”
![Get BEAR ass naked this Valentine's Day.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6161-699x1024.jpg)
Get BEAR ass naked this Valentine’s Day.
![That's not a necklace...](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6160-551x1024.jpg)
That’s not a necklace…
![Because we are all pathetic meat puppets at the whims of our emotions and bran chemistry, and everyone dies alone.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6159-903x1024.jpg)
Because we are all pathetic meat puppets at the whims of our emotions and brain chemistry, and everyone dies alone.
![Skeet skeet skeet.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6158-814x1024.jpg)
Skeet skeet skeet.
![Blue lives matter.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6181-771x1024.jpg)
Blue lives matter.
![This was before the movie "Alien" was a thing...](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6157-887x1024.jpg)
This was before the movie “Alien” was a thing…
![Call a girl "cookie" now and that hot tea's going in your lap.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6156-1018x1024.jpg)
Call a girl “cookie” now and that hot tea’s going in your lap.
![That pun is just awful.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6155-903x1024.jpg)
That pun is just awful.
![Magicians get hella laid, by dudes too if they wanna.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6154-1024x997.jpg)
Magicians get hella laid, by dudes too if they wanna.
![Aww kitty!!](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6153-807x1024.jpg)
Aww kitty!!
![Swag game Betty Crocker.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6152-679x1024.jpg)
Swag game Betty Crocker.
![Ducks aren't big on consent (that's backed up by real science, they're gross animals.)](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6150-745x1024.jpg)
Ducks aren’t big on consent (that’s backed up by real science, they’re gross animals.)
![This card is messed up on so many levels (get it, cause there's a ladder???)](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6148-658x1024.jpg)
This card is messed up on so many levels (get it, cause there’s a ladder???)
![Hooting and howling till the neighbors hear through your shitty apartment's thin ass walls.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6147-594x1024.jpg)
Hooting and howling till the neighbors hear through your shitty apartment’s thin ass walls.
![That's not creepy at all...](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6146-1024x1010.jpg)
That’s not creepy at all…
![The seventies where big on appropriations of native culture. It's like Coachella was a decade.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6145-1024x1010.jpg)
The seventies where big on appropriations of native culture. It’s like Coachella was a decade.
![Yukon tell how racist this card is by just looking at it for 5 seconds.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6144-537x1024.jpg)
Yukon tell how racist this card is by just looking at it for 5 seconds.
![Firemen are like cops who don't accidentally freak out and shoot your dog in the face in front of your whole family.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6141-678x1024.jpg)
Firemen are like cops who don’t accidentally freak out and shoot your dog in the face in front of your whole family.
![This breed of giraffe had long since gone extinct. The heart covered pelts were really big with glam rock musicians in the 70's.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6177-868x1024.jpg)
This breed of giraffe had long since gone extinct. The heart covered pelts were really big with glam rock musicians in the 70’s.
![Smoke 'em if you gottem kiddos.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6180-667x1024.jpg)
Smoke ’em if you gottem kiddos.
![Wow, clingy.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6182-907x1024.jpg)
Wow, clingy.
![Those peaches look like balls...](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6178-785x1024.jpg)
Those peaches look like balls…
![Obviously from a simpler time. Send this to the creepy teacher at your school (and hopefully get them fired.)](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6179-651x1024.jpg)
Obviously from a simpler time. Send this to the creepy teacher at your school (and hopefully get them fired.)
![For the confused teenage boy in your life.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6176-1024x572.jpg)
For the confused teenage boy in your life.
![Because cultural appropriation used to be just quaint and cutesy.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6175-1024x554.jpg)
Because cultural appropriation used to be just quaint and cutesy.
![Not tryna soap box here...](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6174-604x1024.jpg)
Not tryna soap box here…
![That's unhealthy and obsessive.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6173-677x1024.jpg)
That’s unhealthy and obsessive.
![Sugar bunnies are people who sleep with you for cocaine. (IDK, probably...)](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6171-526x1024.jpg)
Sugar bunnies are people who sleep with you for cocaine. (IDK, probably…)
![He's got a gun, run for your lives! (For the school shooter kids obvs.)](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6170-868x1024.jpg)
He’s got a gun, run for your lives! (For the school shooter kids obvs.)
![Uh, did I read that right??](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6169-733x1024.jpg)
Uh, did I read that right??
![Just insult them until they like you back, totally healthy.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6168-820x1024.jpg)
Just insult them until they like you back, totally healthy.
![Black market organs, sexy.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6167-827x1024.jpg)
Black market organs, sexy.
![Who the fuck are you calling a silly goose?](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6165-792x1024.jpg)
Who the fuck are you calling a silly goose?
![Breaking and entering is hella romantic.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6164-801x1024.jpg)
Breaking and entering is hella romantic.
![Calling someone a 'good egg' is a surefire way to make those panties drop.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6163-752x1024.jpg)
Calling someone a ‘good egg’ is a surefire way to make those panties drop.
![The movie was the Crow was bad ass, and Brandon Lee was hot.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6162-674x1024.jpg)
The movie ‘The Crow’ was bad ass, and Brandon Lee was hot.
![More egg puns. Please kill me. I want an egg*scuse to leave this miserable planet.](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6139-585x1024.jpg)
More egg puns. Please kill me. I want an egg*scuse to leave this miserable planet.
![That's what they all say...](https://delunula.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/IMG_6143-678x1024.jpg)
That’s what they all say…
Andy Warpigs is a humorist, provocateur, and folk punk musician based in Arizona. Recommended listening/ shameless self promotion here:
More weird shit from de’Lunula:
PAPPY PAPPY PAPPY
Sir Charles Barkley Is The Tom Clancy of Basketball
I Love You From The Bottom of My Liver — On Organs And Romance
Follow de’Lunula on the Tweet Machine and the Book of Faces.
Spread. Infect. Share.