From the Pot Blotter.
When you get your dog stoned, what goes through his doggy brain? Maybe he’s thinking shit like: The dog catcher is around here, man. I can feel his bad vibes. I saw that cartoon. He’s coming to GET ME. (I’m not going to make the jokes about dogs getting the munchies for Milk Bones. That’s stupid.)
Weed can be good for doggies right? You take a good indica and blow it into the face of a chow-chow and bam! You just turned an actual creation of the devil into a sweet puppy. Well, probably not, the evil beast likely will bite off the protruding parts of your face (nose, lips, etc.). Maybe the fiend would get a little high before it bit you though, and that would be its munchie snack.
In all seriousness, there seems to be some evidence in favor of giving pets medical marijuana for the exact same reasons that we give it to people. ABC news notes that there is a big lack of evidence on the matter. They mention several reported cases of animals suffering various ailments from eating too much weed, but they also mention the benefits of marijuana for animals suffering other various long-term illnesses. The ASPCA lists marijuana as toxic for dogs (and horses and cats) but again, it’s only for ingesting the raw plant.
No one seems to mention anything about second hand smoke, though, and I know you’re a dirty motherfucker that blows smoke in poochie’s face, and pooch just sits there smiling like an idiot. That doesn’t mean he likes it though! He’s totally just freaking out, frozen in fear.
Or maybe not. Maybe it is enjoyable for dogs to inhale a bit of smoke. Obviously they weigh much less than humans, and their brains aren’t wired in the same way, so it would probably affect them in a much more intense manner. We’ll just have to wait for some science jockeys to stick some electrodes on a bunch of dogs and clam bake them in a closet! Until then, we at De’Lunula do not condone getting your dog high. Or your cats, either. Or any pets, if you want to be a stickler.
Madman, pseudo-psychologist, and itinerant mooch, Sebastian Stevenson is also a handsome Illyrian gentleman who wishes he owned a motorbike. Man, motorbikes are cool.
Illustration by Sebastian Stevenson.