Beware the foul, sinful knowledge of the… VEGANOMICON
Horrible screams of elder knowledge screeched forth and try as I might, I could not close it. Deafening, terrifying names belched for from the book in unknowable tongues; I can remember but a few for I fainted away within a minute.
Ethanol Dossier– The Elixir of Youth
This elixir will detox your vitamin glands way more than your cold-press enema squeeze could ever hope to!
Statement of the Kennel Killer
It was kind of weird putting bodies in garbage bags. it’s not as easy as you would think, even though most of these animals were less than half my size. And corpses are floppy, which, when you’re trying to gracefully slide a creature that was just euthanized into a 40-gallon trash bag from Home Depot,...
Ethanol Dossier — The McCarthy Cowboy
You will need one ounce of diced prickly pear fruit, pulled with your hand from a cactus in a country not lush yet rampant with unseen life. (Just kidding, go to Food City.)
Return of the Ketchup Messiah
Rather than step on the heads of the heretics, you must perform a miracle to assure them you’re the next goddamned son of the great condiment bar in the sky.
Get Traumatized Learning About Traumatic Insemination! — WikiHole
goddamn aren’t bugs fucked up tho.
The Breakfast from Qlipnor
The cream of mushroom soup really helps cover up the strong ammonia odor from the eggs. You still have to hold your breath while eating it, otherwise you’ll probably die from a nosebleed.
A Quick Guide To Sex Addiction
First of all, a sex addict is a person just like you and me, no matter what anyone says. Many misconceptions put out by the media harm the image and dehumanize the typical sex addict. Shame on you, media and others.
Why Every Guy Should Be Doing Kegels Right Now
Why the hell are you telling me to do these weird ass German smut stretches for my incontinence? I am a healthy young hipster and I don’t need that shit.
Sir Charles Barkley Is The Tom Clancy of Basketball
One of the greatest pieces of fiction in my library and one of the finest pieces of b-ball detective fiction ever written by man is undoubtedly Sir Charles Barkley and the Referee Murders.
Apocalyptic Desserts You Can Make Using Rotten Apples And Mexican Candy
Alternatively, if you and your partner are fed up by the lack of dessert and you’re both tired of living a sham of a life in the post-apocalyptic world, then do this: take some bread, soak it in anti freeze, and heartily consume. Antifreeze is quite sweet, and that will help when the kidney failure...
I Love You From The Bottom of My Liver — On Organs And Romance
So, dear readers, before you commence sqwoobling under the sheets tonight, consider which organ it is exactly that secretes all that love.
