I Love You From The Bottom of My Liver — On Organs And Romance
So, dear readers, before you commence sqwoobling under the sheets tonight, consider which organ it is exactly that secretes all that love.
Ethanol Dossier — An AmeriCan in VietNam
While I was pondering those wicked times in the jungle, I decided to make a cocktail to soothe my nerves and tickle my traumatized palate.
Abandoniers! — Disgusting Leftovers from Lone Star Steakhouse
Between you and me, judging by the horribleness and the age of the fecal matter, these stains could have come from someone who had just eaten at Lone Star.
My Life As A Corporate Shill Ain’t So Bad
We all want to fuck each other, I think. I want to fuck my boss, and also her boss. She'd do it if it weren't for her pesky children and mortgage. At work we can make all the vague innuendos we want, and alcoholism is a vice accepted with a knowing wink. I told all...
Ethanol Dossier — The Almond Joy/Mounds Cocktail
It tastes exactly like liquified obscure Mars bars.
Abandoniers! — The Coke-Fueled, Anarchist Spray Paint Fracas
Steven started blowing out bits of blood in his nose into my sink. I asked if he was OK. He replied, Oh, it’s just the coke.
No Talent? No Problem! How to Shit Music When You Can’t Fart A Note
“Do be do be do”
—Frank Sinatra (who never learned to play a single instrument)
How To Make Ketchup Soup So You Don’t Starve In The Apocalypse
If done right (wrong?) your soup will look as appetizing as this.
Abandoniers! — War Is Hell, And So Was This Deserted Veteran’s Home
The eeriness only added to the suspense of getting caught by the cops, but I even felt a bit sad thinking how this is where these so-called American heroes wound up.
This Dope New Pope: New Model #266
It's about due that the world got a pope that understands the maladies of society, what needs to be done and most importantly, what does not. This is absolutely amaze-balls except for one easily overlooked facet – it's horseshit!
Ethanol Dossier — The Blueberry Peach Cobbler
It is a drink based upon a delicious dish I encountered in the northeastern portion of our country, specifically in the outskirts of Philadelphia.
Abandoniers! — We Broke Into This Deserted Office On Central Ave.
I heard voices on the other side. Voices like, What are you doing? and How’d you get in there?
